The Exceptional Ebony Encounters | {Evia Moore}

I have the honor of hosting another interview with another exceptional ebony!

Introducing Evia Moore, the blog author and editor of Black Female Interracial Marriagewhere she focuses on urging black women to embrace self-care ‘first and foremost’ and take advantage of all of their marriage options in the global village, including the interracial one.After finding and joining her blog I no longer felt alone when it came to my BWWM relationship  It is a place where I can run to when I need a pep talk read, or when I want to look at numerous pictures of interracial and intercultural couples.

Without further ado…Evia Moore.

Two words that would describe who you
are? 
Innovative, resilient
 
Who would you say are the main three
people that have made the biggest impact in your life?
Paternal grandmother, a visionary, determined African
American woman who lived before her time.


Present husband, a smart, loving, devoted man whose
awe-inspiring commitment to his beliefs and understanding of so many things
often causes me to shiver.
Ex-husband, a shrewd, compassionate man, a natural leader of men
and women, with the greatest sense of humor and ability to provoke others
around him to laugh at themselves and life’s silliness.
How did you decide that
entrepreneurship was what you wanted to do as a career? 
Though I didn’t pursue entrepreneurship full-time, it was my paternal grandmother who planted
the “business bug” in me as a girl because I spent a lot of time with her when
I was growing up. She always operated several businesses. She sold candy, chickens,
fabric, and timber  mostly, but also believed in investing in real estate. She owned about 50 acres of land that she bought over time, which is where she
grew the timber (trees). 
I’ve always had some sort of  business on the
side even when I worked outside the home as a professional woman.
 
When juggling between your career,
your blog and your personal life what would you say is toughest in keeping
everything balanced?
Most days, I’m fairly good at juggling. I am fortunate in that I
have the time to spend working at each of my major pursuits as much as I want.
This takes discipline and a passion for doing what I do, but  I admit that
sometimes I lie around and don’t do anything. LOL!  I have a
low-maintenance, highly supportive husband and independent adult children, so I
can spend my time as I want, at least most of the time. Keeping fit is very
important to me, but on any given day, it can sometimes  be a challenge to
pull myself away from my other pursuits to get to the gym. However, I do it at least
4 times a week, on average, and feel so wonderful afterwards.


Why do you think Black Woman/ White
Man marriages are seemingly more frowned upon than Black Man/ White Woman?
The Black community. I don’t know whether this would be the case
among the general American community. I think that, in general, since women
live in a patriarchal system, many people think that women need permission of a
sort from men and other women to do certain things.
Secondly, there has been quite a lot of role reversal among African
American men and women. Out of sheer necessity, African American women have
been forced to play a central role of providing and protecting in the black
community of the past and many people got used to that and want that to
continue.
This burdensome role was never a role that the women signed up
for, but 
they’ve performed it so well until many people believe that this must
be their permanent role. Naturally, neither the bulk of African American men
nor many African American women want to see this role abandoned by the women
because it scares them. 
They’ve never seen anyone else play this role for them.
Adding to that, this role is a matter of life and death for millions of men,
women, and children. Therefore, these folks staunchly oppose these women leaving this
role and entering into committed relationships with white men because it leaves
behind a huge vacuum, with no one on the horizon to fill it.
However, Black women must absolutely leave this role because the
role was foisted on their backs, and we can see that performing this life or
death role as well as they have,  has taken a terrible toll on typical
Black women in the U.S.
Research tells us that Black
Woman/ White Man marriages typically last longer than White Woman/ White Man
marriages? Why do you feel this is so?
It’s because the typical white man or black woman in these types of  marriages tends to be better-educated and research (I posted on my site
other sources) tells us  that there’s a positive correlation
between
higher education and desire for marriage as well as marital longevity.

 

Also, they tend to vet each other more because they’re more
mature-minded people, even if they’re younger. So they give their selection of
each other and  their relationship more thought and preparation, suspecting
that their reputed differences might require that. That thought and preparation
pay off as a good investment. The more it pays off, the more invested in each
other and their children (if they have them) they become.
It seems as though a lot of African
American women shy away from interracial (Black Woman/ White Man)
relationships. Why is this?
I think this largely goes back to what I mentioned above:
“permission” and it’s twin: “approval.” I think many black women wait with bated
breath for other blacks to give them permission or show open approval
for their dating or loving a white man. When others don’t offer that or
express disapproval, the women shy away and in some instances miss out on a
sublime relationship experience.
 
What are a few common mistakes that
young African American women make when choosing a career and lifestyle?
Too many African American women stick to careers and
lifestyles that are familiar to them instead of stretching themselves to gain
insight and experience in areas that are unfamiliar or non-typical. Some of
them need to position themselves to ask others to mentor them in these non-typical career areas if there’s an interest. They may be surprised that
they have a natural talent in some of those areas. Too many also seek out
careers where they must support and help others. These careers tend to be
lower-paying, lower status, more stressful,  etc.
 
What would you tell your 22 year old
self?
Oh, I would definitely tell my 22-year old self to never stress
over the small stuff. Another thing is to make it a point to quickly forget at
least 80% of what I hear, especially if it’s not positive—because it’s largely
other people spewing their emotional garbage. People have a right to express
their garbage, and we have a right and would be smart to see it for what it is
and not to pay any attention to it.
 I’m level-headed, but I sometimes didn’t used to realize
that. I thought that what supposedly good people were saying was legitimate and
I’d get twisted up inside about it, just thinking and thinking about it. Many
of these supposedly good people didn’t know any better, but I wasted so much
time with that. Ah, the folly of youth! Even lots of supposedly good people
have internalized the garbage of other people, so if I could go back, I’d tell
myself to just get away from it and seek out only those who plant uplifting thoughts
in me.
What do you hope to convey to your
blog audience?
I want Black women to know that the world belongs to them
just as it does to all of the other billions of people on earth, so go out
there and put their stamp on it and claim their spot.
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