Stop, Drop, & Organize [no.3: Your 5-year Plan]


Stop, drop, and organize

When learned that my five year plan could be organized at first I felt intimated by the thought!

Organize my five year plan!? Do I even have a five year plan? Yes, and if you don’t have one you should take some one on one time a devise one.
Five years isn’t too far away once you starting hammering away at your plan. But first I thought if your 5-yr plan isn’t organized things can be a bit shaky.

The Five-Year Plan

The Career Plan 
In 5 years I want to be working in a hospital and actually have a steady job. Five years from now I hope to have my BSN. I don’t just want to stop there I want to keep pushing and get licensed in pediatrics. The last stop would be Neonatalogy. However, in 5 years I know that that won’t be attainable. I do know that I am striving for my BSN.
Family Life
I want my family life with Dave to proceed in the direction it is going. I am happy with where we are in our relationship. When it comes to my family that is where I would like to focus and adjust. 5 years from now I am totally aiming for total resolution between everyone!
Social Life
Dipping my hand into an organization is a good thing to do and by five years I want to participate on a consistent basis and frqequently as well. I like Phi-Theta-Kappa and I would like to continue to participate in the events that they hold. I would also like to interact and find people with the same hobbies, or goals that I encompass. It is always nice to meet people with the same hopes and dreams as you.
Living Situation
My goal for 5 years from now would be to have my home decorated and organized the way I want it. With Military you know where you are going to end up so as for the five year goal…you never know.
Financial Situation
In 5 years from now I will like my credit score to be at an awesome number and cancel my credit card. I would also like to be debt free at 27 years old. I want to have a savings account where I have not had to touch or withdraw from it.

Do you have a 5 year plan? What is on your 5 year plan? 

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Intercultural & Interracial Relationships

I am a Nigerian-American woman that was brought up on straight American-Nigerian culture. I am
Nigerian-American for a reason. I was born in America and my parents are
Nigerian. Which means both cultures are simultaneously intertwined in my mannerisms.
 
I’m like a red, white, blue and a green, white, green
smoothie. I can’t help that and honestly I love it just as is! Hell I can claim
both sides and love both sides EQUALLY, and I have no shame saying or showing
pride in both.
I don’t think my parents, along with others parents that gave to children in America grab hold of this concept very well. The thing that irritates me the most about it is when I am told that I should
marry a Nigerian or a Nigerian-American.
I don’t understand why I should single ANY one race, culture
or ethnicity out from the rest. If I find love in a white man, then so be it!
If I do find a Nigerian man then so be it! In my case I found a white man that treats me the very way I want to be treated. 

I find when I hear about my very own cousins or family
showing antagonism or hostility towards me and my choice to be with Dave. I cannot decipher why, when they themselves were born in America. I understand that the culture and morals differ between the two. However, if you are having problems finding a significant other that shares the same morals as you, then you are looking in the wrong place PERIOD!

Their whys and wherefores consist of: “I would like someone I can share my culture with, to understand my jokes, to go Nigerian events with me and to speak with me in my language.” ….etc.

Number one, you are Nigerian-American. Like I stated above both cultures (Nigerian and American) are intertwined in your mannerisms.

Number two, the problem is not in the race and, or ethnicity.  If your reason for marrying a Nigerian is because you want to share jokes, then you have the very WRONG idea of what love is. Go find a Nigerian friend to share jokes with. I mean SERIOUSLY…if you are worried marrying someone who is not Nigerian will inhibit you from sharing jokes together then you have a real problem….especially if you were born in America and are claiming this idea as a suitable reason for marrying a Nigerian.

Number three, you were born in America, therefore you have American tendencies please do not try to turn your back on the fact that you are Nigerian-American.

Why not seize the chance to spread the Nigerian culture. Why must we keep our culture to ourselves? I want to enrich others with the rich culture that Nigeria has to offer? Let’s not be so close minded.

Anyway!!!

That is just my thought! Share with me what you guys think.

By the way look at these beautiful couples! I love it!

XOXO,
Jenn

The Exceptional Ebony Encounters | {Evia Moore}

I have the honor of hosting another interview with another exceptional ebony!

Introducing Evia Moore, the blog author and editor of Black Female Interracial Marriagewhere she focuses on urging black women to embrace self-care ‘first and foremost’ and take advantage of all of their marriage options in the global village, including the interracial one.After finding and joining her blog I no longer felt alone when it came to my BWWM relationship  It is a place where I can run to when I need a pep talk read, or when I want to look at numerous pictures of interracial and intercultural couples.

Without further ado…Evia Moore.

Two words that would describe who you
are? 
Innovative, resilient
 
Who would you say are the main three
people that have made the biggest impact in your life?
Paternal grandmother, a visionary, determined African
American woman who lived before her time.


Present husband, a smart, loving, devoted man whose
awe-inspiring commitment to his beliefs and understanding of so many things
often causes me to shiver.
Ex-husband, a shrewd, compassionate man, a natural leader of men
and women, with the greatest sense of humor and ability to provoke others
around him to laugh at themselves and life’s silliness.
How did you decide that
entrepreneurship was what you wanted to do as a career? 
Though I didn’t pursue entrepreneurship full-time, it was my paternal grandmother who planted
the “business bug” in me as a girl because I spent a lot of time with her when
I was growing up. She always operated several businesses. She sold candy, chickens,
fabric, and timber  mostly, but also believed in investing in real estate. She owned about 50 acres of land that she bought over time, which is where she
grew the timber (trees). 
I’ve always had some sort of  business on the
side even when I worked outside the home as a professional woman.
 
When juggling between your career,
your blog and your personal life what would you say is toughest in keeping
everything balanced?
Most days, I’m fairly good at juggling. I am fortunate in that I
have the time to spend working at each of my major pursuits as much as I want.
This takes discipline and a passion for doing what I do, but  I admit that
sometimes I lie around and don’t do anything. LOL!  I have a
low-maintenance, highly supportive husband and independent adult children, so I
can spend my time as I want, at least most of the time. Keeping fit is very
important to me, but on any given day, it can sometimes  be a challenge to
pull myself away from my other pursuits to get to the gym. However, I do it at least
4 times a week, on average, and feel so wonderful afterwards.


Why do you think Black Woman/ White
Man marriages are seemingly more frowned upon than Black Man/ White Woman?
The Black community. I don’t know whether this would be the case
among the general American community. I think that, in general, since women
live in a patriarchal system, many people think that women need permission of a
sort from men and other women to do certain things.
Secondly, there has been quite a lot of role reversal among African
American men and women. Out of sheer necessity, African American women have
been forced to play a central role of providing and protecting in the black
community of the past and many people got used to that and want that to
continue.
This burdensome role was never a role that the women signed up
for, but 
they’ve performed it so well until many people believe that this must
be their permanent role. Naturally, neither the bulk of African American men
nor many African American women want to see this role abandoned by the women
because it scares them. 
They’ve never seen anyone else play this role for them.
Adding to that, this role is a matter of life and death for millions of men,
women, and children. Therefore, these folks staunchly oppose these women leaving this
role and entering into committed relationships with white men because it leaves
behind a huge vacuum, with no one on the horizon to fill it.
However, Black women must absolutely leave this role because the
role was foisted on their backs, and we can see that performing this life or
death role as well as they have,  has taken a terrible toll on typical
Black women in the U.S.
Research tells us that Black
Woman/ White Man marriages typically last longer than White Woman/ White Man
marriages? Why do you feel this is so?
It’s because the typical white man or black woman in these types of  marriages tends to be better-educated and research (I posted on my site
other sources) tells us  that there’s a positive correlation
between
higher education and desire for marriage as well as marital longevity.

 

Also, they tend to vet each other more because they’re more
mature-minded people, even if they’re younger. So they give their selection of
each other and  their relationship more thought and preparation, suspecting
that their reputed differences might require that. That thought and preparation
pay off as a good investment. The more it pays off, the more invested in each
other and their children (if they have them) they become.
It seems as though a lot of African
American women shy away from interracial (Black Woman/ White Man)
relationships. Why is this?
I think this largely goes back to what I mentioned above:
“permission” and it’s twin: “approval.” I think many black women wait with bated
breath for other blacks to give them permission or show open approval
for their dating or loving a white man. When others don’t offer that or
express disapproval, the women shy away and in some instances miss out on a
sublime relationship experience.
 
What are a few common mistakes that
young African American women make when choosing a career and lifestyle?
Too many African American women stick to careers and
lifestyles that are familiar to them instead of stretching themselves to gain
insight and experience in areas that are unfamiliar or non-typical. Some of
them need to position themselves to ask others to mentor them in these non-typical career areas if there’s an interest. They may be surprised that
they have a natural talent in some of those areas. Too many also seek out
careers where they must support and help others. These careers tend to be
lower-paying, lower status, more stressful,  etc.
 
What would you tell your 22 year old
self?
Oh, I would definitely tell my 22-year old self to never stress
over the small stuff. Another thing is to make it a point to quickly forget at
least 80% of what I hear, especially if it’s not positive—because it’s largely
other people spewing their emotional garbage. People have a right to express
their garbage, and we have a right and would be smart to see it for what it is
and not to pay any attention to it.
 I’m level-headed, but I sometimes didn’t used to realize
that. I thought that what supposedly good people were saying was legitimate and
I’d get twisted up inside about it, just thinking and thinking about it. Many
of these supposedly good people didn’t know any better, but I wasted so much
time with that. Ah, the folly of youth! Even lots of supposedly good people
have internalized the garbage of other people, so if I could go back, I’d tell
myself to just get away from it and seek out only those who plant uplifting thoughts
in me.
What do you hope to convey to your
blog audience?
I want Black women to know that the world belongs to them
just as it does to all of the other billions of people on earth, so go out
there and put their stamp on it and claim their spot.

The Exceptional Ebony Encounters | {Adrianne George Lind}

Sometimes the best lessons in life are observed and learned through others. Which is why I decided to start an interview series called The Exceptional Ebony Encounters.
For my first interview I had the pleasure of interviewing a very exceptional woman, The 2012 Maisha Entrepreneur of The Year Winner, Adrianne George Lind. Adrianne is founder and co-founder of in total six websites.Her award winning blog is called Black Women in Europe, where you can find empowering and captivating  posts about black women…most especially black women in Europe.

Ladies, reach for your pen and paper and get ready to take some notes!

 

 

Two words that would describe who you
are?
Truly blessed. 
Who would you say are the main three
people that have made the biggest impact in your life?
My mother (who I adore
and admire. She is a PhD ethnomusicologist, has played the organ at the church
I grew up in since before I was born, has always been my biggest fan, but also
made sure to lay on the discipline), my maternal grandmother (she was extremely
beautiful inside and out, only wore two styles of shoes: slippers inside the
house and pointy toe high heels outside of the house, cooked three delicious
meals a day, every day and was a dynamic public speaker), and my first husband
(he taught me to be independent, resilient, and helped me see that I can decide
what makes me happy or not).
How did you decide that
entrepreneurship was what you wanted to do as a career?
That decision was born
out of necessity. You have to make a way where there is no other way,
especially in a foreign country. So things came together for the good of my
talents and a vision was born. 
What are the most exciting and
glamorous part of being an entrepreneur?
I don’t know if you
would consider this exciting but it does get your heart pumping: getting a new
contract and closing out your books in the black. My glamour moments come in my
private life and thanks for reminding me that I need to have more glamour more
often.
What are your career goals for your
future and your blog?
I would love to spin a
TV show off of my Black Women in Europe Blog and I would love to help more
black women entrepreneurs with their Internet presence. 
When juggling between your career,
your blog and your personal life what would you say is toughest in keeping
everything balanced?
I spend too much time
on the Internet!  
What does a typical day in the life
of
 Adrianne look like?
I press fresh juice in
the morning, I check emails, I respond to clients’ needs,  I read the New
York Times and the UK’s Guardian online. And then I work on my to-do list. If
I’m lucky I have lunch with a friend or a social organization once a month. I
make sure to cook something delicious for dinner with the hubby.
What are a few common mistakes that
young African American women make when choosing a career and lifestyle?
I’m not sure if young
African American career women are different from others but we need to dream
big, get the education/training to grow big, take the tough assignments at
work, have mentors, join professional organizations, network and venture out of
the African American community when it comes to mentors, etc. 
What would you tell your 22 year old
self?
Dress like your boss
or like the person who has the job you want. Ask them about their career path
and take steps to emulate it. 
What do you hope to convey to your
blog audience?
The endless
possibility of who and what you can become simply by peering into the lives of
other women who are doing amazing things in situations just like yours.
Who would you ladies like to read in an interview?